It’s a situation no one hopes to face, but it’s more common than you might think. A loved one passes away, and when the will is read, everyone learns that a long-estranged family member—someone no one has spoken to in years—is named as a beneficiary. This can lead to emotional tension, logistical hurdles, and very real complications when it comes to settling the estate and handling real estate.
If you’re an executor or involved in a probate sale where an estranged heir is in the picture, it’s important to know what to expect and how to move forward with as little conflict—and as much clarity—as possible.
Why Would an Estranged Family Member Be in the Will?
There are a few reasons this happens. Sometimes the will simply wasn’t updated. Years may have passed since the original document was signed, and relationships might have changed in that time. In other cases, the person who passed away may have wanted to extend an olive branch—or, in rare instances, might not have realized how strained things had become. Whatever the reason, if that person is named in the will and the document is deemed valid, they are legally entitled to what’s outlined.
What It Means for Real Estate
Real estate is often the most valuable asset in a probate estate—and it’s also the one that requires the most coordination. If the estranged family member is a co-heir or partial beneficiary of a home or investment property, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Shared Decision-Making: If multiple heirs are listed as beneficiaries of a property, they typically all have a say in what happens. That includes whether the property is sold, who the listing agent is, what price it’s listed at, and how offers are handled. If one heir is uncooperative, unreachable, or disagreeable, it can slow the entire process down.
- Legal Delays: In some cases, an estranged heir might contest the will—or object to the way things are being handled. This can lead to formal disputes, which may require court involvement and significantly delay the sale or transfer of the property.
- Communication Challenges: Estranged doesn’t always mean hostile—but it often means there’s a lack of trust, poor communication, or unresolved emotions. Trying to coordinate with someone who’s reluctant to participate, or only involved because they’re entitled to be, can be challenging for everyone involved.
- Title and Transfer Issues: Until the estate is settled and the property is legally transferred, the home technically still belongs to the estate. If one heir refuses to sign necessary documents—or can’t be located—it may require court approval to proceed with the sale.
- Dividing Proceeds: If the property is sold, the proceeds are typically divided according to the will. But tensions can arise around pricing, timelines, and who did what work to prepare the home. If one heir feels like they did all the work and the estranged heir is “swooping in,” it can create resentment—even if the law is clear.
What You Can Do as an Executor or Family Member
First, take a breath. Probate can bring up all kinds of family dynamics, especially when real estate is involved. Here are a few ways to navigate this situation:
- Seek Legal Guidance: An experienced probate attorney can help you understand the will, communicate with all parties involved, and ensure the process stays on track. If tensions rise, they can help mediate or take steps to involve the court if needed.
- Set Clear Expectations Early: If you’re in contact with the estranged heir, try to keep things businesslike and transparent. Share timelines, decisions, and documents. Even if there’s no emotional bond, clear communication can go a long way.
- Document Everything: Keep records of communication, decisions, and responsibilities. If conflict arises or delays occur, having a paper trail can help resolve disputes more easily.
- Consider Mediation: If the estranged heir is pushing back—or if emotions are getting in the way of progress—a professional mediator can help create neutral ground and move conversations forward.
- Don’t Go It Alone: This isn’t a situation you have to handle solo. Probate real estate agents (like me) are used to navigating tricky family dynamics and working with multiple stakeholders. We can help bridge gaps, keep the process moving, and protect everyone’s interests.
Dealing with an estranged family member during probate is never easy—especially when it involves selling a home. Emotions run high, trust may be low, and everyone just wants closure. But with the right support, clear communication, and a bit of patience, it’s possible to reach a resolution that honors the estate and helps everyone move forward.
If you’re dealing with a complicated probate situation and need guidance on the real estate side, I’m here to help. Whether it’s communicating with multiple heirs, preparing the property, or making sure every step is handled with care—I’ve helped families through this before, and I’m ready to help you too.